Hurt

“How the hell can you do that? Who gave you right?”…as soon as I heard this, I was too stunned to react. What did I do? Why is she behaving like this? I asked her to please be calm , I told her nothing can please her and she said “you are no one to pass judgment on me..” and that did it…at that time only, I decided it’s not worth to talk to her anymore…I can’t risk the peace of my mind over this stupidity… I severed all my connections to her…because I felt bad..i was hurt….After all what did I do?
She pinged me that day saying she was not feeling well…she has a recent argument with her family, so she would not tell anybody about it …I was thousands miles away from her… I didn’t know what to do… so I pinged her elder sister….i said hi and I waited n waited n waited… I couldn’t do a damn thing and I was not feeling so great about it….then next morning came and I got busy in office…I was halfway through my day and she pinged me saying I didn’t even ask about her condition and I don’t care for anyone and it’s a mistake to keep any expectation from me…I tried to explain her that I’m concerned, but sometimes there is nothing in your hand…n I m not very good with words…I can’t solely pacify her with my words…to do something useful, I pinged her sister and before I could explain further she yelled…”why do you want to prove me weak in front of my family??” I was flabbergasted…either way I’m at fault…I’ve had enough…
I was enraged, what’s the point in being good, being faithful, being concerned…in the end, people forget everything as per their convenience. In the end, you are the bad guy …I was so angry that I didn’t make friends afterwards….it’s a pointless exercise…getting to know a person and then being disappointed by them….
After 6 months, he called me…told me she is no more…he was crying…in between his sobs, he told me she had heart problem…I figured she knew this when she was talking and fighting with me…probably that was her attempt to save me from the distress her condition would cause me…so many probability..
But where does this lead me? M I sad that she didn’t confide in me about her condition, am I in tears and devastated or heartbroken? NO…I am ANGRY, I am Furious. Am I angry about this situation.. with God? No, I’m angry with her because she created that situation, God has nothing to do with that…She took matters in her own hand and decided for me…now who gave her that right? What did she think, I’ll remember her as martyr all over my life, and she did a very good job? No sir, I’m sorry that I’ve come across her, I’m sorry that she became my friend and I’m sorry that people think that what they are thinking is in best interest of others and don’t even bother to discuss…
And then people say that I’m selfish, I’m arrogant and so not social that I didn’t even visit her during her final journey…ha…who cares…who knew during her final moments she chose not to be with me….now who is selfish?

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